We have a wonderful guest author today and it’s Jason Wrench who shares with us some great writing advice which is taken from his latest book Beyond Words, definitely check it out…

20 Writing Pitfalls That Make Readers Roll Their Eyes By Jason Wrench

Have you ever picked up a book and cringed at the way characters interact on the page? As writers, we’re all guilty of falling into common traps that can make our prose feel mechanical, repetitive, or just plain unrealistic. The following is based on my book Beyond Words: A Step-by-Step Guide to Mastering Nonverbal Communication in Fiction. When I’m not writing fiction, I’m a communication professor with 30+ years teaching and researching how people interact in their daily lives, including nonverbal communication. Today, I’m breaking down the most common mistakes that can turn an immersive story into an eye-rolling experience.

The Puppet Master Syndrome

1. The Play-by-Play Narrator

Nothing kills momentum faster than describing every minute movement your character makes. When you detail each finger twitch and eyebrow raise, your characters transform from living, breathing people into marionettes.

Instead of

Emily walked into the kitchen, lifted her right hand to open the cupboard, grasped the handle with her fingers, pulled it open, reached inside with her left hand to grab a mug—not just any mug, the red one—, then placed it gently on the counter before turning to the kettle.

Focus on What Matters Most to the Scene

Emily’s exhaustion, her anticipation of that first sip of tea, or the argument she’s mentally rehearsing while going through these motions.

2. The “Almost” Actions

When your characters are constantly “going to” or “starting to” do things, they never seem to actually do anything. These hesitant phrases create distance between your reader and the action.

Weak

John went to reach for the book but stopped.
Marsha started to say something but closed her mouth again.

Stronger

John reached for the book but stopped. Marsha opened her mouth, then closed it without a word.

Dialogue Disasters

3. The Action-Packed Conversation

When every line of dialogue comes with its own choreographed movement, readers get whiplash trying to follow both the conversation and the constant physical activity.

Exhausting

“How was your day?” Sarah asked, tilting her head to look Mike in the eyes.
“Good, thanks,” Mike replied, scratching his chin as he waggled his eyebrows.
“That’s great to hear,” she said, tapping her foot as she twirled her long hair around one of her fingers.
“Yeah,” he nodded, crossing his arms. His left lip twitched upward, showing an almost imperceptible smile.

Let your dialogue breathe. Intersperse actions naturally, using them to punctuate important moments rather than every single exchange.

4. The Emotion-Stuffed Tag

When you load your dialogue tags with emotional descriptors, you’re telling rather than showing.

Telling

“I can’t believe you did that,” he said angrily.
“It wasn’t my fault,” she replied defensively.
“You always say that,” he retorted bitterly.

Showing

Let the dialogue itself carry the emotion, or show us physical reactions that reveal the character’s feelings.

The Repetition Trap

5. The One-Trick Character

Does your protagonist sigh heavily in every other paragraph? Does your villain always narrow his eyes when plotting? Repeated gestures make characters feel one-dimensional.

Repetitive

Throughout the meeting, Tom kept crossing his arms. “I disagree,” he said, arms crossed. Later, he stood up, arms still crossed, and left the room.

Give your characters a range of expressions and reactions that reflect their individual personalities.

6. The Adverb Addiction

When adverbs take over your prose, your writing loses power. These modifiers often indicate you haven’t chosen a strong enough verb in the first place.

Adverb overload

“I can’t believe you did that,” she said angrily, glaring fiercely while suddenly stomping loudly across the room.

Watch especially for these repeat offenders:

Suddenly
Really/Very
Literally
Actually/Basically
Definitely/Totally/Absolutely/Completely
Extremely
Quickly/Slowly
Quietly/Loudly

Cliché Corner

7. The Emotional Shorthand

Falling back on clichéd expressions feels like taking the easy way out and prevents you from creating fresh, vivid imagery.

Clichéd

He gave her bedroom eyes as she walked by. Feeling nervous, she clenched her fists. “I guess so,” she said, shrugging.

8. The Greatest Hits of Body Language

These overused gestures have appeared in so many books that they’ve lost their impact:

Eye movements: Rolling eyes, widening in surprise, narrowing suspiciously
Facial expressions: Constant smiling/grinning, frowning, scowling, raised eyebrows
Hand/arm gestures: Shrugging shoulders, crossing arms, clenching fists, dismissive waves
Body language classics: Excessive nodding/head shaking, heavy sighing, nervous lip biting, fidgeting
Physical reactions: Pounding hearts, churning stomachs, caught breaths, dropped jaws
Tired descriptors: “Flashing” eyes, “quirking” eyebrows, “trembling” lips

The Show, Don’t Tell Problem

9. The Emotion Announcement

Directly stating how a character feels robs readers of the chance to connect with that emotion.

Telling

Michael was sad. He felt terrible about the news he received.

Showing

Michael’s shoulders slumped as he read the message. The phone slipped from his fingers onto the couch as he stared at the wall, unseeing.

10. The Mental Shortcut Words

Watch for these verbs that often indicate you’re telling rather than showing:

Felt/Thought/Wondered/Realized
Knew/Understood/Noticed
Saw/Heard/Seemed
Was (as in “was angry”)/Became/Got
Decided/Believed/Wanted
Loved/Hated/Remembered
Considered/Experienced

Character Consistency Issues

11. The Personality Flip

When a character’s nonverbal behaviors contradict their established personality, readers get confused.

Inconsistent

The stoic warrior giggled and twirled his hair when the battle began.

Keep a character bible to track typical reactions and ensure consistency throughout your story.

12. The Overly Obvious

Don’t explain gestures that readers already understand—it feels condescending.

Redundant

She nodded her head up and down to indicate agreement with his plan.

Common Culprits

Head/Face: Nodded his head, blinked his eyes, winked his eye
Arms/Hands: Clapped his hands, waved his hand, pointed his finger
Legs/Feet: Stomped his foot, stood on his feet, sat on his bottom
Sensory Actions: Smelled with his nose, listened with his ears, looked with his eyes

Cultural and Contextual Missteps

13. The Cultural Blind Spot

Gestures don’t mean the same thing worldwide. What’s friendly in one culture could be deeply offensive in another.

Problematic

He gave a thumbs-up, knowing it was a positive sign everywhere in the world.

Research cultural norms if your story includes international characters or settings.

14. The Silent Understanding

While close friends might communicate nonverbally, crucial plot points usually require explicit communication.

Unrealistic

He raised an eyebrow, and she immediately understood the complex plan.

15. The Historical Anachronism

Make sure nonverbal communication fits the time period of your story.

Anachronistic

In ancient Rome, she gave him a peace sign before leaving.

Flow and Focus Problems

16. The Redundancy Trap

When your dialogue already conveys emotion, adding emotional descriptions creates redundancy.

Redundant

“I’m so excited!” she exclaimed excitedly, jumping up and down with excitement.

17. The Simple Made Complex

Not every interaction needs elaborate description—sometimes simple is better.

Overwritten

Before saying “hello,” he adjusted his tie, cleared his throat, checked his watch, and ran a hand through his hair.

18. The Physical Impossibility

Always consider whether your character could physically perform the actions you’re describing.

Impossible

Despite his broken leg, he jumped up and down with joy.

19. The Minor Character Spotlight

When a cashier gets more detailed nonverbal description than your protagonist, your focus is off.

Distracting

The cashier glanced at them with eyes that held the weight of the world, sighing deeply as she scanned each item.

20. The Narrative Roadblock

Detailed descriptions at crucial moments can stall your story’s momentum.

Momentum-killing

“Watch out!” he shouted. She paused, noticing the intricate patterns on the wallpaper, her fingers tracing them as danger approached.

The Fix: Balance is Everything

The key to effective character movement and nonverbal communication isn’t eliminating these elements—it’s using them strategically. Choose gestures that reveal character, advance the plot, or heighten emotional moments. Let the rest fade into the background.

Remember that great writing mirrors real life: sometimes we notice every detail of how someone moves, but most of the time, we’re focused on what they’re saying and the overall impression they make.

What writing pitfalls have you noticed in your own work? Share in the comments below!

Biography

Jason Wrench writes. He writes a lot. With his publisher, Pride Publishing (now Totally Entwined) he’s the author of three different series: 12 Days of Murder & Till Death Do Us Wed, Up on the Farm (Finding a Farmer, Bewitched by the Barista, Sanctuary for the Surgeon, & Catching the Composer), and the Love and Liquidation Series (Boy Bands and Bullets, A Choreographed Coup, & Rhythmic Reclamation). And the standalone novella Wolf Island. As an Indy author he’s published Life on the Naughty List, or What the Elf!, Jekyll/Hyde, and The Veil. His latest book Shattering Securities comes out in Spring 2025. He has a set of free writing books available: https://jasonwrench.com/the-narrative-nexus/. He’s authored eleven academic textbooks, thirty-five plus research articles, authored numerous chapters in other books, and edited eight academic books. When he’s not in his day job as a college professor at SUNY New Paltz where he teaches in the Department of Communication. He’s a member of the Romance Writers of America, Rainbow Romance Writers, Text and Academic Authors Association, and The Authors Guild.